the greatest piece of advice on waiting ever said

"If somebody doesn't like or respect you after fucking you on the first date,
waiting three more dates isn't going to help."

hiphop circles

If you end up among hiphopers and they start to quiz you and name 
drop various rappers to see how much of a 'real' fan you are. 
It's time to leave, your reflection of me a true fan or not is 
of absolutely no importance to me whatsoever. 


When you tell people that you like Die Antwoord and somebody goes
"yeah they're weird though"
Yes. They are. 
Sorry, exactly what do you want me to do with this information? 

weird convo in work

Me: Your hair looks nice today. 
Colleague: What a weird thing to say. 
Me: Is it? 
Colleague: *hysteric laughter fit* SUUCH a weird thing. 

pet hate

people who excuse their - shitty - behaviour with "this is just the way I am."
So fucking what. 
I could also choose to behave really badly and rude to people because
it might benefit me but I won't because, well because it's rude.
This can often be applied to people who are late 
"I'm always late"
well, if you know you're always late then maybe try to change this instead
of being disrespectful of my time? 


'Breaking News:
Russell Brand Speaks out'
That's like the opposite of Breaking News

convo with Collie

Me: But she had a boyfriend
Him: Sure, don't we all..

Here, have 3 old photos of me

Hair. Grow back. 
Everything is forgiven. 

convo with Dynamike

Him: you've been listenting to the same song all day now, do we need to talk? 
me: I just like the song
Him: Is that a cornflakes in a cup that you're eating with a tea spoon? 
me: I don't want to talk about it. 

this may or may not be a good thing

Actually not. 
It is not a good thing. 
I am nostaglic as fuck, like ridicolously. 
I miss everything that has ever happened in my life. 

me memory ain't what it used to be

I just found an old avocado in my hot press. 
Like, I had put it there and forgot about it.
Somebody had informed me that avocado's gets ripen quicker if you put them in the hotpress
(and preferably not forget about them but that is me speaking from experience). 
Next coming up;
kiwi's in bathrobes

convo with Elin

Me: But I am definitely cutting down on coffee, yes sirre, at least I'm not gonna have any more for the day, 
well, not in work anyway. 
Elin: Yeah, fair play but like, we're only in here for 2 more hours...

old facebook status

my colleague told me about one of his friends who has been in Ireland for a while now and managed to pick up some slang, such as "thanks penneys" (penneys = primark) which she assumed was a standard answer to any compliment given.

I'll never get my head around it

People who complain about PC people and how you're 'not allowed to joke about anything
anymore'. Yes, they can. But it's strange that they never move away from joking 
about people who has historically been through social injustice and also how, the jokes never seem
to be about themselves? 

sorry can we confirm

If somebody have asked you something (I'd hate to be vague) and your answer was
"it'll do" can you later confirm the thing that does with 
'it did do'? or is the correct grammar 'it did'? 


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